Now, this took a hell of a lot of courage to write and a shit loads more to post pictures, so please, no hate! These pictures now to this day, break my heart and I hate myself for ever letting my life turn this bad and doing this to myself!
So, I’m not going to sit here and tell you about the ‘best diet’ or that I have had the worlds best weight loss but I’m going to tell you about my own personal weight gain and weight loss.
During my pregnancy I didn’t really put on much weight. I was happy, healthy and active. Of course, I did put on some baby weight and went up a dress size but I never piled on the pounds!
3 weeks after I had Acacia I sprung back into a size 8/10. Wow, I was so chuffed. I felt great. I had so many positive comments ‘As if you’ve just had a baby, you look incredible’… That soon changed, my home life changed, it turned miserable. Acacia’s dad was completely unhelpful, rude and if I’m honest not exactly the nicest too me, I fell depressed and yep, you guessed it. I comfort ate. And I comfort ate a lot! Now, yes, I know. It was no one’s fault but my own but food was my comfort, food was my happiness.
That was it my body that sprung back to a size 8/10 was now creeping up and up. The more I saw myself deteriorating the more I comfort ate.
It was a spiral that just way out of control. I found myself having to buy size 18/20 clothes. For someone who had never been to a shop and bought any bigger than a size 10 this was heartbreaking. But, I just couldn’t stop!!
Thing at home go worse and worse and I found myself just constantly eating. It was my escape, it took my mind off the hell that I was living. My health got so bad, physically and mentally, but I just couldn’t stop or help myself. I was a total wreck. I kept a smile on my face to the world but deep down my heart was breaking.
What on earth had I let happen to myself, why oh why did I let this take over my life. I have never been so unhappy in my life.
When Acacia turned two, my life changed, massively. Acacia’s dad left and I felt myself getting happy, I didn’t turn to food for comfort, I started taking care of myself and watching how much crap I ate. I started exercising 3 times a week. I dropped down to a size 14!
Of course I wasn’t as happy as I could have been but I was more confident and in late 2014, that confidence helped me find the man that I am with today.
The man that loves me for me, the man that supports me to the end of the earth and the man I can lean on through anything.
And this brings us to today, March 2017, I’m in a size 12!
I’m happy, I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin. Of course my size 8/10 head comes on sometimes and thinks I don’t look as great as I could. But I’m healthy and best of all I’m happy. I just want to make it clear I am not a health freak, I love the shit out of a pizza and a take away but I know when enough is enough. But hey, I don’t think I look half bad now!! 😁
Thank you so much for reading.